The second issue of Healers Magazine was originally supposed to come out in December, a month after Issue One (Beyond Binaries: Healing without Borders). Unfortunately, after the first issue was released our team of three became a team of one. On my own I could have probably handled it, getting Issue Two out on time. However, partly because of this issue’s theme—Getting Personal: Digging Deep—I had to look at my own health and through introspection I found many neglected areas. I want to inspire others to open up by sharing my story.
I realized that the trauma I experienced when my mother took her life was still depressing me four years later and that I had PTSD from the acute episode I endured a couple of months ago when I found myself thinking thoughts akin to those documented elegantly in our special edition, Suicide Watch, by J. Doe. I was therefore touched by Akiko Momose’s article, Healing Core Wounds, and the second installation of Lesley Goth’s 3-part series, How Stress Can Break Down Our Mind, Body, and Spirit.
When I recently returned to the States after nine months in India, building healersmagazine.com, I began talking to loved ones and healers about my issues. Reminiscent of how Robert Kellum describes preliminary healing in our first poem, Eye of The Needle, I had to embark on a journey for which I was not prepared.
Desperate to escape depression, I finally acknowledged that I’m bipolar. It took seven years for me to come to terms with it after being diagnosed and hospitalized for almost a week during my first major episode in 2011 which was a manic one. I was traumatized by my diagnosis but as suggested in Bonnie McLean’s article, Befriending Our Obstacles, and Steve Nobel’s article, Moving into 5D Love, I had to stop running from it.
John Tucker’s piece, Reset, inspired me to be authentic with myself and others, and also in my first Healers Magazine entry, Coming to Terms with Psychiatry. Honest communication helped immensely, especially in regard to reconciling the tension between me and my dad which was very cathartic. I was therefore touched by Connie Yang’s article Resolving Conflicts, in which she explains how mindful communication with her father helped her and inspired her to help others. In Mythological Re-Membering, Daniel Lally shares his inspiring journey forgiving his dad, identifying lost parts of himself and becoming a healer.
Issue 2 is finally out, so my mood is ostensibly improving. I think the turning point for me was when I started communicating to my loved ones that I was feeling blue. Communicating openly with others, I repaired my relationship with my father and made peace with exes. I also edited the articles submitted for the current issue, many of which resonated with my struggles.